Meditation and Time of Life
NOTE: This piece has not been meticulously reviewed for diacritics and should not be considered an authoritative source on Latin-Sanskrit spelling. Furthermore, the topics discussed here could be explored in far greater depth—this piece could easily be two or three times its current length. For the sake of brevity, dear reader, I have chosen to be selective rather than exhaustive. Please keep in mind that this is not a comprehensive exploration of all the concepts presented below.
No matter where you turn, someone is extolling the virtues of meditation.
Maybe it’s just me—I do work in this field, so I could just be inundated with it. An issue I often see in my clients is a great deal of “shoulding” around a meditation practice. While I highly recommend that people meditate in one form or another, I think it’s also important to talk about the stage of life you are in and how that impacts your ability to meditate.
In Vedic thought, life is guided by the Purusharthas, the four aims of living: Artha (wealth), Kama (enjoyment of life), Dharma (purpose in life), and Moksha (liberation from life). While all four are important and can inform how often we should meditate at different life stages, for simplicity, brevity, and clarity’s sake, we’ll focus on Dharma.
Understanding Dharma
Dharma means purpose, but it is also tied to duty, ethics, and cosmic order. It is the path each individual must walk to fulfill their role in the greater balance of life. If you need a more in-depth understanding, I highly recommend looking at a synopsis of the Bhagavad Gita.
Dharma is not about leading a globally renowned organization. It does not need to be something grand or visible. It can be as simple as baking really good bread, nurturing young minds, or praying for those who have lost hope. What is your purpose? Not just here, reading this post—why are you on this planet?
Meditation can help uncover your purpose, but Dharma is action. As Bhagavad Gita 3.35 states, "It is better to live your own Dharma imperfectly than to live another’s perfectly." To follow our Dharma, we must be clear about who we are and where we are in life. This brings us to the four stages of life, which provide a framework for understanding how meditation fits into our journey.
The Four Stages of Life (Ashramas)
In Vedic philosophy, life progresses through four stages, known as the Ashramas:
Brahmacharya (Student)
Grihastha (Householder)
Vanaprastha (Forest Dweller)
Sannyasa (Renunciate)
Where you are in life can shape your meditation practice.
If you are in Brahmacharya (the student stage), this is a time of learning and growth. Meditation at this stage should be about exploration—trying different techniques and finding what works for you. It’s a time for curiosity, study, and practice, laying the foundation for a lifelong relationship with self-inquiry.
In Grihastha (the householder stage), responsibilities grow, and meditation may not always be a priority. This stage is about building stability—creating a career, raising a family, and engaging with the world. This is exactly the dilemma Aang faces in Avatar: The Last Airbender during his conversation with Yangchen on the lion turtle. His duty as the Avatar is to the world, meaning he cannot fully renounce it for spiritual enlightenment. His spirit is tied to the world, just as ours is during this phase of life. For those of us in our 30s and 40s, this is where we are—balancing worldly responsibilities with personal growth. Renouncing the world in favor of strict meditation would be a misunderstanding of wisdom at this stage.
Vanaprastha (the forest dweller stage - or retirement) comes when worldly obligations begin to lessen. This is not about running away from problems but rather being called inward. As children grow and careers settle, there is often a shift toward seeking deeper meaning. Meditation at this stage naturally expands, with more time available for self-reflection, study, and spiritual practice. Some withdraw from the demands of the external world and turn toward teachers, scripture, and solitude.
Finally, Sannyasa (the renunciate stage) is a phase of full spiritual surrender. This is the stage closest to death, where meditation becomes not just a practice but a way of being. It is a time for letting go of all attachments and purifying the soul in preparation for what comes next. As my mother would say, it’s about getting ready for the great beyond.
Balancing Meditation with Life
These stages are not rigidly linear. While life generally progresses through them, they can overlap. Some individuals feel called to spiritual enlightenment early and renounce worldly possessions for monastic life. This isn’t wrong—it simply brings us back to purpose.
What is the thing that lights you up? At the end of the day, what makes you say, “I did this” with a sense of fulfillment?
Our meditation practice depends entirely on the context of our lives. This reminds me of Aang’s conversation with Yangchen—his struggle to balance duty to the world with spiritual enlightenment. If your purpose is in the world, renouncing it is not to your benefit. If we understand what stage of life we are in—and where we are heading—we can create a meditation practice that truly serves us.
This isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up. Meditation isn’t just sitting still and doing nothing. It’s a practice that helps us uncover the essence of who we are.
Simply put, if you have time to meditate, do it. If it’s only one day a week, let it be one day a week. You don’t need to sit for 30 minutes or an hour—five minutes is sometimes enough. If that is too much, 30 seconds can be just as good.
Balance your practice with your stage of life and level of health. This isn't an excuse to avoid meditation—but don’t let meditation become one more thing to stress about.
Find time when you can—and let the universe take care of the rest.
